Just Say It

Imagine, just for a second, that you were able to speak your true feelings about someone without worrying how they would respond or that you would be embarrassed about doing so. The ability to be completely honest with someone/anyone is incredibly rare and awesome. It’s also incredibly liberating. I have never felt more free and content with myself than when I have been absolutely and completely honest with someone- it hasn’t happened often! I think probs 99% of us are often scared/nervous to tell people how we really feel because we don’t want to be rejected or embarrassed if they don’t feel the same way.

Now I’m not saying you should be a jerk and tell people that their hair/outfit/face is ugly! What I’m talking about is that if you have strong feelings for/about someone you should tell them to their face- not go talking about it behind their back to everyone but them.

For example: when it comes to telling guys how I feel about them, I always feel so much better when I’m honest and upfront about it. Like “Dude I’m sorry this isn’t working between us” or “dude I really like you as more than a friend.” Is it scary to do this? EXTREMELY. Worth it? Absolutely. I knew that by being honest that either his feelings might take a small beating or that I would have to face the reality that the guy I like doesn’t like me back. But you know what- in every instance of me being honest we’ve both been able to move on and realize that being honest early on saved a lot of wasted time and pain.

Neither men nor women are mind readers- you can’t expect people to just know how you feel about them. You have to put your big girl/big boy pants on and tell them. If you like someone/want to go out with them-for the love of Pete just tell them! And do it yourself- in person. Not through your friends or text- that’s lame and shows you’re a sissy.

I really respect it when a guy is straightforward and asks me out or asks for my number. I appreciate his honesty, directness, and courage- because I know it’s hard and slightly scary to do. That proves to me that they’re willing to risk rejection in the hope I’ll say yes- kind of a nice reminder that I’m worth it. (Not that my self-confidence relies on getting asked out- it’s just nice to be appreciated like that sometimes). It’s legit.

And vice versa- when I’ve told guys I like them they’re almost always like “Wow that took guts – thanks for telling me that straight up” and then they let me down nicely 🙂 You honestly can’t lose in being nicely honest with people-sure you might get rejected but at least you know for sure then. (You won’t be stuck in that cycle of “maybe s/he will finally notice me and ask me out.”       FYI that doesn’t work- I have years of evidence to back that up.) Sure it might be tough to deal with at first but you won’t be scared of what might or might not happen anymore.

Same goes if you have a problem with someone. Instead of doing that passive-aggressive shenanigans and talking about them behind their back- tell them! Be like “dude when you said/did that I was hurt/upset/took it to mean this…” Then based on their response you’ve either cleared up a problem or learned that this person isn’t worth getting angry about. I’ve had people/friends talk about me behind my back. Other friends then tell me what they’ve been saying. I’ve handled it where I don’t say anything and just let resentment and distrust build between us for too long-yeah that sucked. But I’ve also handled it by going straight to that person and asked them why they’ve been spreading shenanigans about me. That method really makes or breaks a friendship- because either there was a misunderstanding and the friendship is okay or you find out that your friend really isn’t your friend after all.

Point is- be honest. Don’t be destructive and try to ruin people’s lives but help them out by telling the truth. Being honest can really open doors for you- you just gotta have the courage to speak up. And who knows- maybe the other person feels the same way about you! And if not- there’s always ice cream 😉

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