The “Friend Zone”: Awkward vs Awesome

I’m not going to lie- I was the Mayor of the friend zone from junior high all the way to about junior year in college. Nope, I was more like the President or even Galactic Empress of the friend zone. It was so bad that guys would come to me for advice in asking out girls, breaking up with them, dealing with overemotional and jealous girlfriends etc. My success rate in getting couples together or navigating difficult breakups was about 50%- which I don’t think is too bad.

Point is- I know first hand the ups and downs of the “friend zone”. It’s great when you don’t have a romantic interest in the other person- but it’s sheer awfulness when you do!

The term “friend zone” itself has a negative connotation. I feel like it’s bitterly used when a guy or girl has a crush on their friend but their friend does not return it. Yes, liking someone and them not liking you back absolutely sucks. Been there, did that, still going through that even now- Luke Evans just doesn’t know what he’s missing out on. Anyway- this is going to sound harsh but you have to move on. Waiting around hoping your crush will suddenly realize they like you too is oftentimes pointless. Especially when you haven’t told them about your feelings- you can;t just expect them to read your mind and figure it out!!

If you have told your friend that you like them as more than a friend and they don’t feel the same way about you- props for having the guts to tell them!! And if they say they want to still be friends- don’t get all defensive/upset/angry/bitter about that. They most likely think you’re an awesome person and do want to be your friend- they just don’t want anything more. And that is no one’s fault- it’s just the way the cookie crumbled. ooooh cookies-yum

I’ve been on both sides of this type of thing. I’ve had guy friends tell me that like me and I’ve told guy friends I like them. Guess what- none of them have worked out. But I’m still friends with probably 2/3 of the guys because we actually value the friendship we have with each other- and that freaking rocks!!

The awesome side of the “friend zone” is that you have a friend of the opposite gender. Obviously. So when all your girl friends are bugging you or being catty or you just don’t feel like dealing with their shenanigans, you can go play football or video games or watch Die Hard with your guy friends. Or when guys need advice or help picking out a present for their mom or buying clothes or whatevs they can call a girl friend and get some advice or have a less excruciating shopping experience.

So being told or realizing that the friend you’ve been crushing on doesn’t like you back sucks. But now you still have a friend to encourage and help you find someone that likes you back- it’s kind of a win-win then.

Note- never ever ever whine about “always getting put into the friend zone” to try to guilt someone into agreeing to go out with you. Then it’ll just be a pity date and plain pathetic-not to mention annoying. Just sayin

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