It’s All About Communication

A smart guy’s guide to dating: A girl’s perspective

75% of the problems guys and gals face in dating and relationships could be resolved by better communication-true story.   I could be extremely scientific and explain how men and women process information differently, how men don’t attach emotional meaning to everything they say while women do etc. Point is- good communication is vital for successful, fulfilling relationships.  The downside- good communication is often difficult because men and women define that phrase differently. Very differently.

I’ve learned that guys don’t always feel the need to stay in constant or even steady communication with their friends to know that they’re still friends. However, as many girls know and will agree, not staying in contact is easily construed as “this friend hates me now or else he/she would keep in touch”. And often that’s true as far as girls go! One of the worst thing you can do to a girl is ignore her- we instantly feel like we aren’t good enough. But many times guys aren’t doing this on purpose. Many guys don’t need that constant reminder that their friends still like them- unlike most girls. Therefore they don’t often think about telling us that they care about us. Guys and girls are just wired differently.

So heads up guys- I’m going to give you a glimpse into a girl’s head. Sometimes when you think a girl is being clingy it’s probably more likely that she needs the reassurance that you still like her. If you don’t still like her- be honest and do it soon. Don’t be a jerk and drag it out on purpose. If you do like her- tell her!! You don’t have to go overboard- just a gentle reminder like “Hey you’re awesome and I really like being around you”. Her day was just made right then. She will be happy that you care enough to share your feelings- and of course that you like her!

Note- if the girl calls you multiple times a day, is constantly texting you about pointless things, and seems to have no life outside of you- run. That’s the start of psycho stalker behavior!!!!

I don’t want this post to sound like I’m telling guys that they have to change and constantly talk to the girl they’re interested in if they normally don’t communicate much. I’m just hoping to explain why men and women can hear the exact same things or be involved in the same conversations and come away with completely different ideas of what just happened. Guys if you don’t communicate a lot- it’s okay. But maybe try to be upfront about that early on- that way the girl won’t have unrealistic expectations of how often she will hear from you. Girls- don’t go psycho about this. Guys are different and you have to accept that. You must realize that you can’t automatically change a guy’s communication habits. So maybe everyone could meet in the middle a bit- guys could make a little extra effort and girls could stop expecting so much. Or not-whatevs. You have to be you and if people don’t accept that- it’s their problem for missing out on your awesomeness.

A quick note on compliments- both guys and girls love getting them. As long as they aren’t creepy of course. But here’s a tip-try being specific. Instead of just saying “You look nice/handsome/pretty/etc” try adding “especially your hair/shirt/eyes/whatevs”. It shows that you appreciate the overall effect AND the details that make it up.

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